


Yet Somehow We Survived

by Sera_The_Dragon, SeratheDragon_UnfinishedTales (Sera_The_Dragon)



Series: The Saga of Tears and Blood [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Child Abandonment, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Ensemble Cast, Found Family, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Novelization, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29066247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sera_The_Dragon/pseuds/Sera_The_Dragon, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sera_The_Dragon/pseuds/SeratheDragon_UnfinishedTales
Summary: Frisk knew the legends surrounding the mountain. She was hoping they were true.
Relationships: Alphys/Undyne (Undertale), Asgore Dreemurr/Toriel
Series: The Saga of Tears and Blood [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2060958
Comments: 6
Kudos: 6
Collections: Dreemurr's Tears and Darkner's Blood: An Undertale/Deltarune AU





	1. Before The Story

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings, all! Welcome to the hell that is Tears and Blood! This story serves as the prequel to a comic and game that I'm working on, which goes by the similar title of "Dreemurr's Tears and Darkner's Blood". This particular part of the story is not a necessary read, but it does display a few canon things that happened differently in this AU. I hope you enjoy!  
> Also, the story’s available on Wattpad too of you’re interested: https://www.wattpad.com/story/256942784-yet-somehow-we-survived

_The darkness… it’s swallowing me. It’s so painful… my body’s slipping away… I don’t know where I am. It’s uncomfortable. Where am I? What’s going on?_

_Where’s…_

_Damn you, Asriel. Damn you! Damn all of you! I was going to save everyone, and you let us both die! You’re a coward! If I ever see you again, I’m gonna make you suffer the pain you’ve put me through. You’ll regret betraying me…_

* * *

Far away, I hear a voice. It speaks in a strange tongue I do not fully recognize. More words follow, this time perfectly understandable: 

“Chara! Are you there? It’s me, your best friend!”

I don’t understand at first, but then it hits me. Somehow, I’m _awake._ This isn’t the half-conscious state I’ve been in for all these countless years. I’m fully aware of everything around me; I can _see_ my cavernous surroundings. A bed of golden flowers where I sleep, and a massive tunnel leading out.

The moment the thought crosses my mind, I cry out as a century’s worth of pain strikes my body all at once. I find myself throwing up impossible amounts of blood, coughing and screaming as my stomach tears itself apart. Something is inside me, I can sense it somehow. A vile writhing essence is everywhere, and it’s painful, so painful… 

A familiar voice echoes through the air. I try to focus on the words instead of the torture I’m being put through.

“What a terrible creature, tormenting such a poor, innocent youth…”

That’s Toriel’s voice. I could recognize it anywhere. I know I’ll be safe with her. I know she can fix this. I gather all the strength I have left and stagger towards the voice. I recognize this tunnel; it’s the same one Asriel came through when he heard me calling for help. This time, however, I don’t have him supporting me as I walk through. Every few steps I have to stop, leaning against the cavern wall to catch my breath, spitting out more of my insides each time.

There, on the other side, I see her. Toriel looks just as royal as ever, and she’s smiling in that gentle way that just makes my heart melt. But, for some reason… I don’t feel that way now.

She kneels, still talking in that motherly tone. “Ah, do not be afraid, my child.”

Child? Does she see me? I speed up as much as the pain will allow. Once I get close, though, I see another figure. One that’s much smaller and isn’t a monster. A scrawny human girl, covered head to toe in bullet-pattern cuts and crying silent tears. Now I understand: someone else fell, and Toriel found her like how Asriel found me. She’s not referring to me, but this other child. That’s why she said not to be scared.

The little girl winces as Toriel rests a hand on her chest. A faint green light appears, and the girl’s wounds seal themselves, vanishing as if they were never there; her baggy clothes follow suit. She gives Toriel a curious look, as if to say “Who are you?”

“I am Toriel, caretaker of the ruins. I pass through this place every day to see if anyone has fallen.”

The girl takes a nervous, sharp breath, almost like she’s scared to say anything. Eventually, she asks a question in the smallest voice I’ve ever heard:

“There were others?”

Toriel nods, and her fur brushes against the girl’s face. “You are the first human to come here in a long time.”

Her words only raise more questions. How long has it been since I fell? What were these “ruins” she mentioned? Why was she taking care of them? Didn’t she have other responsibilities as Queen? I’m so confused…

Against my will, the memories start flooding my mind. I’m back in the village, beaten and bloody and monstrous. Blow after blow, the humans attack us with everything they have.

“Asriel, _please!_ It’s too late to turn back now! You said you’d never doubt me! Don’t back out now! _Please_ , Azzy! Everyone’s counting on us!”

The weapons, the bruises, the _agony…_

“Azzy, you’re _dying!_ They’re _killing_ us, Azzy! I don’t want to die again! You _promised!_ Azzy! Please! Fight back!”

I fall to the ground, coughing, bleeding, screaming as I clutch my wounded chest. I’m not going to make it. Asriel’s doomed us both, forcing me to die again…

Something’s watching me.

I turn around, and her eyes burn into my very being. Those eyes, they terrify me. They look normal enough, but I can sense an eternity’s worth of suffering locked away behind that warm amber glow. This child has seen too many things for her lifetime. A word from the magic tongue comes to mind: _hiyasamouhi_. There’s no real equivalent for it; the closest thing would be an “old soul”. 

She sees me. Not in a literal sense, but she knows I am here. The two of us stare at each other in silence for a while.

I don’t understand. Our plan failed, didn’t it? Why was I brought back to life?

“Come, child!” Toriel’s voice breaks the silence between us. “I will guide you through the catacombs. This way!” The girl turns back towards Toriel and begins to follow her. Through the heavy fabric of her sweater, I see her chest shine with a familiar red glow…

Of course. It’s the girl. She fell on my grave. Somehow, as a result, my essence slipped into her. Maybe it was because her body housed a red SOUL—the same color as my own. Maybe this, combined with Asriel calling me, was what awakened me from death.

Now, I know what I must do.


	2. Fallen Down

I’ve long since lost track of time. The hours had become days, then weeks, so fast that I could no longer keep up with them. I don’t really care; it’s easier when I don’t think about it. Of course, not thinking about it won’t make it go away. The whispers aren’t the kind that like to fade away, drifting into nonexistence. They echo through my mind, hoarse and angry.

_No one’s ever going to come for me. Nobody wants me around. She hates me; they all hate me._

_No, that isn’t true. Nobody cares enough about me to hate me! I’m worth less than nothing to them. Even less to her. I’m going to die here. Abandoned by everyone I ever trusted. Alone, cold, and hungry. It’s my own fault! My actions are what drove her to do this! I did this to myself!_

I cover my ears, knowing it won’t block out the bad thoughts. _Worthless!_ they cry. _Vile demon’s child! I was never good enough for her! She hates me! She left me here to die!_ Over and over, the darkness inside me screeches that phrase. She left me to die. _She left me to die._ It becomes unbearable; I just want it to stop, but there’s nothing here that I could use to distract myself from the whispers.

I don’t know why, but I push myself off the bench and begin making my way to Mt. Ebott. Tears burn in my eyes as I run against the wind. I know the stories. I know what happens to people who climb this mountain. Why am I willingly heading to it?

It’s because deep down, I know I’m _right_. I _am_ just a worthless, vile demon’s child. It’s no wonder Mom left me here. I might as well finish the job for her.

It’s dark inside the mountain; I trip over several vines scattered across the dusty ground before my eyes finally adjust to the murky gloom. The cavern is surprisingly small, ending not too far from where I’m standing, but not before allowing a massive pit to open up in the ground. The vines seem like they’re coming out of the hole. I kick a pebble into it, waiting for the sound of it hitting the ground.

It never comes. I won’t survive this. I turn away from the pit, close my eyes, and brace for death as the wind flows around me.

* * *

The flowers cradle me in their arms, wrapping around me like a blanket. Golden petals decorate the ground, and some have settled in my hair. I can feel my frantic heartbeat in my fingertips.

I don’t understand. The fall should have killed me.

“Hello?”

I yelp in surprise, darting to my feet. Looking around, all I see are the cave walls. There are no signs of any people, but I swear I heard somebody speaking.

“Chara! Are you there? It’s me, your best friend!”

With my curiosity piqued, I get up and follow the voice. It leads me to a golden flower much larger than the others, about half my size. I take a few steps towards it, but then it turns around and I get a good look at its face—wait a second, what!? Flowers don’t have faces!

“Howdy!" he says. "I'm Flowey. Flowey the flower!”

I’m not sure what to do. I’ve never talked to a flower before.

“You're new to the Underground, aren'tcha? Golly, you must be so confused.” Flowey leans forward and rests his face on one of his leaves, smiling innocently. “Someone oughta teach you how things work around here. Heh. Guess little old me’ll have to do.” His stem straightens, and he wraps his leaves around each other. “Ready?”

Not sure what else to do, I nod, and as soon as I do, a strange warmth fills my chest. I let my curiosity get the best of me, and I yelp in surprise when I see the glowing red heart that’s forcing its way out of me. It hovers gently in the air in front of me, and its glow pulses in sync with the rhythm of my real heart.

“See that heart?” Flowey comes a bit closer and gestures to the glowing shape. “That’s your SOUL, the culmination of your very being!”

Entranced by the strange, almost ethereal glow of the SOUL, I reach out to try and hold it, but the moment my hands brush against it waves of unease shoot through my chest. I step away. The feeling’s not painful, but I definitely don’t want to feel it again.

Flowey doesn’t seem phased by what’s going on; he must have more experience with this than I thought. “Your SOUL starts weak, but it can get stronger if you gain lots of LOVE.” He winks at me, sticking out his tongue a bit. “You want some LOVE, don’t you? Don’t worry, I’ll share some with you!”

A few tiny orbs of white light appear around Flowey. “Down here, LOVE is shared through these… uhh…” He turns away for a moment like he’s thinking hard about what he should say next. “Little white… friendliness pellets! All you gotta do is catch as many of them as you can!”

The pellets start slowly floating towards me. I reach my hand out to grab one and—ouch! The second I touch one, it slices my palm open! I grab my hand, hissing at the pain, but managing to hold back my scream. The rest of the friendliness pellets all vanish as if they were never there, except for one, which charges at my SOUL before I can react. The ball of magic splinters on contact with my SOUL, and it sends a fiery pain through my body. My insides twist and something rises in my throat, filling my mouth with a coppery taste. The liquid gets in the way of my breaths and I cough; blood spills from my lips and stains the grass below me.

“You _idiot._ ” Flowey’s expression has changed; his smile is too wide to fit on his face, and his eyes have gone completely white. “In this world, it’s kill or _be_ killed. Why would anybody waste an opportunity like this!?”

A dense cloud of white orbs surrounds me as Flowey’s face becomes something worthy of my worst nightmares. He speaks, but his voice is too deep, too hoarse:

“Die!”

The magic bullets charge toward me at blinding speeds, slashing anything they touch. I try to shield myself from the blows but the bullets are coming from every angle, and no matter what I do they find ways to make me bleed. I close my eyes and fall to the ground, too injured to support myself, biting my lip and crying but being very careful not to scream; the whole time, Flowey cackles devilishly at my pain.

Out of nowhere, a flash of light appears, bringing a sudden pulse of heat with it. The bullets stop attacking me. Nervous, I open my eyes and see a small fire beside the spot where Flowey is rooted. He glances angrily around the cavern; he’s trying to find something, I think.

“Who the hell—”

A ball of white flame is launched at Flowey, knocking him away from me with a really silly scream. From the same direction the fireball came from, I hear somebody muttering quietly to themself.

“What a terrible creature, tormenting such a poor, innocent youth…”

Turning to face the voice, I see a big furry monster with droopy ears, short horns, a pair of fangs, and long eyelashes. Her eyes have a dark red tint, she has paws instead of hands and feet, and she’s wearing a long purple robe with a pretty blue symbol on her chest. She takes a few steps toward me; scared, I try to back away, but putting any weight on my torn-up limbs just makes the pain there even worse.

“Ah,” she cries at the sight of me. “Do not be afraid, my child. I will not hurt you.” She kneels and holds my cheek, careful not to press too hard. “I am sorry you had to meet that vile weed before I arrived. I should have come sooner.” She slides her paw down to my wounded chest; it hurts, and I wince at the contact. “Here, let me heal you. Do not worry, it will only take a moment.”

A green light comes from her paw and moves to cover all my cuts. Everywhere the light touches, the slashes disappear and my clothes mend themselves. I even feel it taking the pain away from the much older cuts on my bad hand.

I must have looked at the big monster funny because she takes back her paw and smiles down at me. “Oh, I am sorry; I have forgotten to introduce myself. I am Toriel, caretaker of the Ruins. I pass through this place every day to see if anyone has fallen.”

I take a nervous, sharp breath, scared to say anything. Eventually, I ask her a question:

“There were others?”

Toriel nods, and her fur brushes against my face. It tickles. “You are the first human to come here in a long time.” She stands up and beckons me with her paw. “You should come with me before that flower returns. You will be safer that way.”

Suddenly, a piercing scream comes from behind me, stabbing at my ears. I turn around to see if somebody else fell or got attacked by Flowey, but there’s nobody there. Even so, I can still hear a voice.

 _“Asriel,_ please! _It’s too late to turn back now! You said you’d never doubt me! Don’t back out now!_ Please, _Azzy! Everyone’s counting on us!”_

My soul glows again, and all of a sudden everything hurts really badly. What is going on!?

 _“Azzy, you’re_ dying! _They’re_ killing _us, Azzy! I don’t want to die again! You_ promised! _Azzy! Please! Fight back!”_

For a while, the shouts continue—accompanied by sickening, wet coughs—before coming to an abrupt stop. I can’t help but feel as if somebody’s watching me.

My thoughts are interrupted when Toriel calls out to me. “Come, child! I will guide you through the catacombs. This way!”

Turning back around, I follow the big monster through a doorway. The shadow of the ruins looms above, and it fills me with some strange feeling. I’m not entirely sure, but I think it might be determination.


	3. Ruins

I follow Toriel and the human into the first room of the Ruins, where the ancient puzzle blocks the way forward.

“Welcome to your new home, innocent one. Allow me to educate you in the operation of the Ruins.”

She walks across the four unmarked buttons on the floor without giving the human a chance to try and solve the puzzle herself. Then she pulls the lever that opens the doorway.

“The Ruins are full of puzzles; ancient fusions between diversions and doorkeys. One must solve them to move from room to room. Please adjust yourself to the sight of them.”

Toriel walks to the next room. Curious, the human stays behind, pressing the other two buttons to see if anything happens. She walks over to the sign explaining the puzzle and spends a pretty long time staring at it before sighing in defeat and sitting down below it.

Can she… not understand the riddle?

A timer clicks and the puzzle resets itself, locking the two of us in the first room. The human runs to the door and tries to push it open, but to no avail.

“Miss Toriel!” she cries. “What do I do?!”

“You must solve the puzzle!” Toriel shouts back. “Read the sign to get a hint!”

Clearly trying to hold back tears, the human walks back to the sign, spending another great deal of time trying to understand the riddle. After a while, she sits down again, gazing mournfully at the buttons on the floor.

“Don’t you understand the riddle?” I ask her.

She flinches at the sound of my voice, then relaxes a bit. Her voice is so quiet, I can hardly hear her.

“Riddle?”

“Yeah, the one on the sign. Only the fearless may proceed, yadda yadda yadda, don't walk the middle road?”

She glances over her shoulder to look at the sign. “That’s what it says?”

“Yeah. Couldn’t you read it?”

She looks embarrassed as she curls in on herself a bit. “...no.”

“Well, we can deal with that later. For now, you have a puzzle to solve.” I point over to the buttons on the floor. “You see those buttons on the pink path?”

“Yeah,” the human says, drying her eyes with her sleeve. I notice a disgusting bandage on her hand, but I decide not to mention it.

“Okay, good. Don’t press those.” I put my hand on her shoulder. “You need to press the buttons outside that path, then flip the switch. Got it?”

The human nods, and presses the buttons on the ground. She has to jump up to reach the switch, but eventually, she pulls it down and the door opens.

“Well done, my child! I am very—”

The human hugs Toriel so tightly I worry she might hurt herself. Her shoulders shake in fear as she fights off an oncoming fit of sobs.

“Oh, do not cry, little one.” Toriel gently strokes the human’s back. “I understand it might have been scary, but you are okay now, see? You solved the puzzle all by yourself. I am very proud of you.”

The human lets go of Toriel, and the two of them start heading towards a set of switches. Toriel turns to face the human with a smile. “To make progress here, you will need to trigger several switches. Do not worry; I have labeled the ones that you need to flip.”

The human walks up to a switch set between two narrow artificial rivers. Written beside it in yellow chalk is a message reading “Please press this switch. -Toriel.” She jumps up to pull the switch down, then heads to another switch. This one, though, is unmarked.

“No no no!” Toriel shouts nervously, shaking her hands. The human tenses up at the monster queen’s sudden loudness. “You want to press the other switch. I even labeled it for you…”

For a moment, the human is silent, but then she starts crying for real. Her tears fall quietly on the ground as nervous apologies tumble from her lips. Confused, Toriel slowly approaches the human, but this only causes her to back away in fear and put her arms up defensively.

“I’m sorry,” the human whimpers in between her tearful gasps, “I didn’t mean to, please don’t be mad at me…”

“I am not mad, young one!” Toriel seems shocked at the idea. “I was only worried about your safety. That switch triggers a trap that could hurt you quite badly.”

The human suddenly goes silent. She walks over to the switch labeled “Please press this one too. -Toriel” and flips it without making a sound. The spikes behind Toriel retreat into the ground.

“Splendid! I am proud of you, little one. Let us move to the next room.”

Once again, the human stays behind. After she’s entirely sure that Toriel can’t see her, she walks back to the unlabeled switch and reaches up to pull it.

“Wait, stop!”

She doesn’t listen. The switch clicks. Ticking sounds echo through the room. The human makes no effort to move.

Then the ticking stops.

I figure that after millennia of going unused, the last switch stopped working properly. The human, for some reason, looks disappointed. Sighing, she rolls up a sleeve and bites into her arm, leaving behind a deep purple crescent. Then she pulls her sleeve back down and moves on.

We enter a room with a single training dummy inside. Toriel starts to explain something else to the human.

“As a human living in the Underground, monsters may attack you. You will need to be prepared for this situation. However, worry not! The process is simple. When you encounter a monster, strike up a friendly conversation. Stall for time. I will come to resolve the conflict. Practice talking to the dummy.”

The linen dummy is old and simple, stuffed with cotton and with a button for an eye. There’s something almost cute about it. I can sense something inside of it; perhaps this is a ghost vessel?

The human walks up to the dummy, tightly gripping her sweater. She seems unsure of what to do.

“It’s easy,” I say to her. “Just say hi or something.”

The human takes a sharp breath as she shifts her gaze to the dummy. “Um… hi,” she says in that teeny tiny voice of hers.

The dummy doesn’t respond, but Toriel smiles. “Ah, very good!” She walks over to the human and gently pats her on the head. “You are very good. There is another puzzle in the next room… I wonder if you can solve it?”

Looking around, I realize that the ruins look just like the entrance to the old city of Home, except they’re far more damaged and worn. In truth, the place does look more like a set of catacombs than a thriving city. How much time has passed since the night I died? I try to ignore the thought.

Together, we all head through the somewhat long corridor leading to the spike puzzle. Toriel stops right in front of it, and the human freezes at the sight of the sharp metal picks.

“This is the puzzle, but…” Toriel leans down and offers the human a big, fluffy paw. “Here, take my hand for a moment.”

The human reluctantly places her hand in Toriel’s, and she leads her across the trapped room. Every so often, she looks behind her to make sure the human isn’t straying too far from the path she’s laying out for her. Her every step seems to be carefully thought out as if she’s done this many times before.

When we finally reach the end, Toriel turns around and smiles nervously. “Puzzles seem a little too dangerous for now.” She kneels to see eye-to-eye with the human, a somber look in her eyes. “You have done excellently this far, my child. However… I have a difficult request to ask of you. I would like you to walk to the end of this room by yourself.” She stands back up and turns away. “Forgive me for this.”

And just like that, Toriel runs off without another word.

“Wait!” the human cries out as she chases Toriel. Despite her best efforts, the Queen of Monsters is simply too fast for her to catch up to. Eventually, she falls to the ground, her breaths heavy and labored; she must not be used to using this much energy in such a short time. Tears begin streaming down the human’s face, staining the purple stones below. Her SOUL shines within her, casting that familiar red glow onto the surroundings.

Sighing, I lift her and place her back on her feet. “You really need to get out more,” I say with just a hint of sarcasm. “Now let’s get to the end of this hallway.”

The human dusts herself off and starts heading towards the end of the long corridor. It takes some time, since every once in a while the pain from my deaths starts to come back and I have to stop and rest, and the human keeps panicking at the tiniest things—I can barely change my tone of voice around her without sending her into conniptions.

After entirely too long, the two of us arrive at the end of the room. Toriel walks out from behind a single pillar of marble with a guilty look.

“Greetings, my child.” She kneels again, gently stroking the human’s hair. “Do not worry, I did not leave you. I was merely hiding behind this pillar the whole time. Thank you for trusting me. However, there was an important reason for this exercise… to test your independence. I must attend to some business, and you must stay alone for a while. Please remain here. It is dangerous to explore by yourself.”

The human gives Toriel a worried look and gently tugs at her robe as if to say “Please don’t go.”

“I have an idea. I will give you a cellphone.” Toriel places a small, old-fashioned phone in the human’s hands. “If you have a need for anything, just call. Be good, alright?”

The human nods, and Toriel leaves.

I should be feeling something, but… all that’s there when I think of how much I love Toriel is a weird hollow feeling. In fact, the only feeling I have connected to the monsters is from my fit of rage after my death, when I got mad at Asriel for backing out on our plan. Part of me hopes I was only saying things out of anger.

Part of me knows better.


	4. Anticipation

They’re nothing like the whispers.

The whole time I’ve been hearing their voice, I’ve tried to write them off as being another whisper I just haven’t heard before. But that doesn’t make sense. The whispers don’t help me. They don’t act like real people. They especially aren’t this sarcastic.

This new voice is nothing like the whispers, the urges to do bad things, things I know I shouldn’t do.

Something about it is funny to me. Maybe it’s their personality; how they’re the same sort of rude, spoiled child I am, or maybe it’s the fact this is the first time it’s hit me that I really  _ have _ lost it. First the talking flower and the monster lady and now this voice in my head. The fall messed with me even more than I first thought. I try to laugh at how messed up it all is, like I see Mom’s friends doing. I laugh, and keep laughing. It’s so funny, I can’t stop. Tears stream down my face.

But it’s not funny.

I end up hiccuping as I cry silent tears. Why couldn’t I have just died? That’s what I came here for, right?

_ “So, what do you think of Toriel?” _

The voice catches me off guard, and I shake a little bit at their words. I don’t want to answer, but not answering would be rude, and I know the punishment for being rude. “I think she’s nice,” I say quietly.

_ “Nice?”  _ The voice laughs, and I tense up; I must have said something wrong. I prepare myself for their reprimand, but… it doesn’t come. Instead, they just say  _ “Nice is a huge understatement. She’s got levels of kindness you wouldn’t be able to imagine in a billion years.” _

I pick up a small, sharp stick lying on the ground and start doodling things in the sand covering the floor of the Ruins. I draw a whisper; or at least, what I think a whisper would look like if it were a creature and not just a bunch of nasty thoughts. I give it long sharp claws and a snake’s body and a big toothy smile. I don’t add any eyes. Whispers don’t need to see you to know all your secrets.

I start adding more whispers; a skinny one with a diamond-shaped head and three eyes, another with no arms and two tiny horn nubs, and a third with one big eye and a mouth on its belly. They all look really scary. 

_ “What’s that?” _ The voice has a tone of curiosity to it that I’ve never heard before.  _ “Are they like a monster family or something?” _

I don’t want to tell them the truth. “Yeah,” I say as I brush the sand away. Some of it lands in a nearby puddle. I don’t bother looking into it; I know I’ll just see a bad kid.

I still don’t understand what the voice is, or why they’ve decided to come with me. I really really really want to believe I’m not crazy, but what other reasons are there for voices to be in my head?

I decide to stop thinking about it.

_ “Hey,” _ they say, “ _ I never got to introduce myself. I’m Chara. What’s your name?” _

I don’t trust the voice with my name. I don’t trust anyone with my name. Soon it’ll just be a name they call in frustration. I don’t say anything.

_ “Do you…  _ have _ a name?” _

I don’t say anything.

_ “Yeesh, you’re boring. You should talk more; I think you’ll find it makes people more likely to want to spend time with you.” _

Why would anyone want that?

_ “Anyways, that’s beside the point. I’m gonna have to call you something, and ‘you’ is getting pretty old. Since you don’t wanna give me your real name, how about I just call you ‘partner’?” _

I shrug. “Doesn’t really matter to me,” I say. I consider heading back to the spike puzzle Toriel led me through earlier. Maybe I could trip on one of the panels. Maybe it’ll be fast.

I find myself thinking about Flowey for some reason. He seemed so nice and friendly, but really he was cold, harsh, and vicious. Kind of like how I am. I bet Toriel is secretly mean, too; she probably wants to keep me safe so she can eat me later. It wouldn’t be hard for her, since I’m small and weak and I can’t fight.

It’s almost funny how everything here is a reflection of me.

But it’s not funny.

The phone Toriel gave me buzzes, and I yelp in surprise before realizing it's just a call. I press the accept button, and her cheerful voice comes out of the speaker.

“Hello! This is Toriel. My errands are taking longer than I thought they would. You must wait 5 more minutes. Thank you for being patient.”

The line clicks, and just like that, I’m alone again. I wonder about the things Toriel said. Me? Patient? Those two words don’t belong together. Good kids are patient, and I’m not a good kid. I try to be a good kid, but it never works. Mom says it’s because I’m a demon reborn, and demons can’t be good. One time I asked her how she knew if she never met a demon before, but that just made her really upset. I didn’t get to eat that night. I deserved it, though; I should have known better than to talk back to her.

Part of me is still curious, though. Are all demons really as bad as I am? Maybe the voice—Chara, they said their name was—will know. Even though I know I shouldn’t ask, the question burns me up inside.

“Chara?” I ask, hoping they hear me.

Their response is almost immediate.  _ “What is it, partner?” _

“Have you ever met a demon?”

_ “That’s a weird question.” _ Chara goes silent for a moment.  _ “I’ve met devils, but they aren’t the same thing as demons.” _

“Do you think demons can be good?”

_ “Anyone can be good,” _ Chara says.  _ “They just have to believe they can, and try really hard, and they can be good.” _ Under their breath, I barely hear them muttering  _ “Unless they’re human.” _

I was going to ask if they think  _ I _ could be good, but their last statement proved their answer before I got the chance. Besides, it never matters whether I’m good or bad. I always mess everything up.

I try to push the thoughts out of my head for a little while, thinking about Chara instead. From the sound of it, Chara’s a kid, like me, but I can’t tell if they’re a boy or a girl. They sound a little bit older than me. Of course, this is all ignoring the chance that Chara  _ is _ me. It’s still entirely possible that I hit my head really hard when I fell and now I’m making all these crazy things up. If that’s the case, then Chara’s probably just another me that I’m hearing inside my head.

I consider asking Chara if they’re a boy or a girl, but that would be rude.

My stomach roars, reminding me of how hungry I am. I wish I brought the backpack with me when I came here. I didn’t think I’d need it. After all, dead people don’t need to eat or drink. It’s not like it would have mattered, anyway. I finally emptied it a few days ago.

_ “Hey,” _ Chara says,  _ “I know a place where you can get some food. Lemme show you.” _ I feel something pulling at my arm. I don’t let myself go with the force.

“Toriel said—”

_ “I know what Toriel said, but she has a history of taking a long time to finish errands. I’m sure she won’t mind if we do a  _ little _ exploring together.” _

I don’t want to disobey Toriel, but my aching belly wins out and I leave the hallway.

The phone rings again.

“Hello. This is Toriel. You have not left the room, have you?”

I start shaking. How did she know? I’m about to apologize, but she keeps talking without giving me a chance to respond.

“There are a few puzzles ahead that I have yet to explain. It would be dangerous to try to solve them yourself. Be good, alright?”

The line clicks again before I get to say I’m sorry.

_ “Okay, so now you want to head right, into that little room. See it?” _

I’m still a bit dazed from Toriel’s surprise knowledge of my disobedience, so I don’t really pay attention to what Chara says. I turn around and head back into the corridor.

_ “Hey, that’s kinda the opposite of where the food is.” _

“I know,” I say matter-of-factly.

_ “You’re making things worse for yourself.” _

“I know.”

_ “So why are you doing it if you know it’ll make things worse?” _

“I didn’t listen to her,” I tell the voice. “I need to listen.”

_ “I think you need to eat more than that. I can feel how hungry you are, you know.” _

I freeze. I should have expected the voice to  _ know _ what I feel, but I never thought they would  _ feel _ the same things as me. It still doesn’t make sense how they want to help me. The whispers hate me because they know I’m a demon reborn. They always remind me of who I am. Even with Chara in my head, I still have to fight to silence the whispers.

I don’t care if they’re right or wrong. I just want them to shut up.

_ “Soooo… are we gonna get you something to eat, or are we just standing here forever?” _

We. Chara keeps saying  _ we _ for some reason. I can’t be sure why. Do they really consider me their “partner” in all this? How are they able to feel what I feel? How are they so confident in their apparent knowledge of the Ruins layout?

And why do they sound so much like that screaming voice from earlier?

I have too many questions, and I’ve got a feeling that I won’t get my answers anytime soon. Oh, well. I leave the hallway once again and head to the room Chara mentioned. There’s a big plastic bowl of some kind of candy with a sign on the front. I hesitate before I take a piece.

_ “That’s Monster candy,”  _ Chara says.  _ “It has a distinct, not-licorice flavor.” _

I unwrap the small piece of candy and eat it.

_ “...oh.” _ Chara sounds disappointed.  _ “It… tastes like licorice. I could’ve sworn it had a different flavor when I had one…” _

“Maybe they all taste different?” I suggest as I grab another piece and stuff it in my pocket.

_ “Yeah, that makes sense—wait, what are you doing?!” _ Chara’s tone of voice changes right as I start to grab a third candy. Nervous, I put it back in the bowl, but it tips over off the platform it’s placed on and the candy spills all over the floor.

_ “Look at what you’ve done!” _ Chara shouts at me.  _ “Toriel’s gonna be pissed!” _

I instantly start collecting the candies and putting them back in the bowl, biting my lip and trying really hard to not cry. Once all of the candy is picked up, I set the bowl back on the pedestal. The only thing missing is the sign that was attached to the bowl. I hope she won’t notice that it’s gone. Trying and failing not to think about it too much, I leave the room. Playfully crinkling through the leaves outside makes me feel a little better.

“Ribbit, ribbit,” calls a voice from behind me. Startled, I turn around and see a massive white frog-like beast with eyes on its belly. I freeze. Maybe if I don’t move, it won’t try to attack me.

_ “Relax, partner. He’s just asking you to listen to him.” _

“How do you know?” I whisper, just in case the frog thing understands my language.

_ “I’ve spent a fair amount of time listening to Froggits talk. After a while, you start to figure out what they’re saying. Wanna hear what he has to say?” _

I’m not sure how much I trust Chara, but what harm could it do? I kneel to see eye-to-eye with the frog monster and ask him what he wants to tell me about. He starts ribbiting excitedly—I guess he knows a little English after all—and Chara begins translating.

_ “He said he has some advice for battling monsters. Uh, if you act a certain way or fight until you almost defeat them, they might not want to battle you anymore. If… hold on, did I hear that right? I think he said that if a monster doesn’t want to fight, you should show them mercy.” _

Smiling, the monster hops away.

I look down the path out of the room and notice lots more monsters; more of the frog creatures, a fairy, carrots with faces, slimes, bugs, and even a sort of wispy shape that disappears the moment I look at it. I start trembling in fear. How am I supposed to get past all these monsters?

A golden glow appears over the pile of leaves. Curious and entranced by the light, I reach out and stroke it. The light explodes into brilliant yellow dust that flies inside of my SOUL. The strange feeling from before I entered the Ruins, the one I think is determination, comes back stronger.

Every piece of me is saying  _ I can do this. _

I step forward.


End file.
